I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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