She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
