Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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