Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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