If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
