dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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