You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
