you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
