Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
