its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
