Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
