Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
