That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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