38 yer olds are good kisserssss
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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