Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
