I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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