What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
