This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found puke in my bra..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
