i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize