Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
