She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
