the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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