Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize