I'm so fucking centered right now
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
