Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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