I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
