dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When are your genitals available?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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