I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
