Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
