we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
