Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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