Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
