Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
