I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
