are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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