come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
