Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
its liver damage thursday
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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