i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
