remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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