first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
His nipple licking is glorious
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
