i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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