I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They took my balls.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
