apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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