people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
