I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
