and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize