dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
