grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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