i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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