note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
