I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
