yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
