While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize