Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize