Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
