Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
