Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
