he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
