too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
