We named our party play list daddy issues
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize