Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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