i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
