Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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