great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
