You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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