I think im going to throw up on grandma
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
