I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
